Adopting a Child
Evidence gathered over many years shows that adoption is mostly highly successful for the children and families involved. Adoptive parents speak of the joy and fulfilment they and their families derive from adoption. At the same time, it is also clear that being an adoptive parent is different from parenting a child of your own. While many of the day to day things are the same there are important differences if a child who has been adopted is to grow into a well adjusted adult.
We all need a secure sense of identity. We all need to know and understand who we are and where we come from. This is more complicated for adoptive people whose identity is linked to two families. A person who has been adopted is more likely to have a secure sense of identity if they have grown up with parents who are open about the adoption and support the child to develop a positive and realistic understanding of their birth family. For some children there may be some level of continuing contact with their birth family. Again any such contact will be considered carefully and discussed in advance of any placement being agreed. Adopted children who have not had contact with their birth family will benefit from knowing that if they want to search for their birth family at some point, they will do so with the support and understanding of their adoptive family.
Adoption is not the best solution for all children requiring permanent placements. In some cases, particularly with older children, the child retains some loyalties to their birth family even though they may understand that a return home is never going to be possible. These children may still need the security and stability that comes from knowing that they have a permanent home with another family, but they may not want to sever all legal ties with their birth family as happens in adoption. In such situations links with the birth family may continue to be an important part of the child’s life.